A Valuable Word for Parents

Something I needed to hear, courtesy of Witmer’s excellent book:

A key ingredient of instruction is helping children understand what is expected. As a simple example, if you ask your child to set the table, demonstrate how to do it. If you ask your child to clean his room, show him what you expect. Nothing is more frustrating than being told to do something and not knowing what is expected, then being held accountable to a standard you don’t understand. One teen put it this way:

“My parents don’t feel that they owe me any kind of explanation. That’s the thing that bothers me the most about them. Their answer is always ‘Do what I say because I’m your mother. Because I’m older.’ That may be true but they should tell me why I can’t do something. They just take the easy way out.”

On a more profound level none of us comes into this world with a clear understanding of what is right and what is wrong. We need to be taught what truth looks like in contrast to the shades of falsehood, dishonesty, and deceitfulness. Teaching is more than laying down the law. It involves showing how, building understanding, and preparing children to apply principles to new situations and challenges.

- Timothy Witmer, The Shepherd Leader at Home, pp. 145-146.

Good Words for Husbands

Here are two examples of solid, wise, biblical counsel that would be beneficial both for husbands and wives to consider:

• Like Water to a Plant
• What Every Husband Should Know About Stay-At-Home-Moms

 

Audio from Gospel-Powered Parenting Conference

Bill & Judy Farley were in town last month to do a conference based on Bill’s book. Here’s the list of sessions:

• Session #1 – How the Gospel Impacts Parenting

• Session #2 – First Principle of Parenting

• Session #3 – Gospel Fathers

• Session #4 – Training with Discipline and Affection

• Session #5 – How to Keep the Gospel Central to Your Parenting

Wedding Prayer

Let us pray.

Eternal God, creator and preserver of all life, author of salvation, and giver of all grace: Look with favor upon the world you have made, and for which your Son gave his life, and especially upon this man and this woman whom you make one flesh in Holy Matrimony. Amen.

Give them wisdom and devotion in the ordering of their common life, that each may be to the other a strength in need, a counselor in perplexity, a comfort in sorrow, and a companion in joy. Amen.

Grant that their wills may be so knit together in your will, and their spirits in your Spirit, that they may grow in love and peace with you and one another all the days of their life. Amen.

Give them grace, when they hurt each other, to recognize and acknowledge their fault, and to seek each other’s forgiveness and yours. Amen.

Make their life together a sign of Christ’s love to this sinful and broken world, that unity may overcome estrangement, forgiveness heal guilt, and joy conquer despair. Amen.

Bestow on them, if it is your will, the gift and heritage of children, and the grace to bring them up to know you, to love you, and to serve you. Amen.

Give them such fulfillment of their mutual affection that they may reach out in love and concern for others. Amen.

Grant that all married persons who have witnessed these vows may find their lives strengthened and their loyalties confirmed. Amen.

Grant that the bonds of our common humanity, by which all your children are united one to another, and the living to the dead, may be so transformed by your grace, that your will may be done on earth as it is in heaven; where, O Father, with your Son and the Holy Spirit, you live and reign in perfect unity, now and for ever. Amen.

- from The Book of Common Prayer

Liberty Is Given for the Pursuit of Holiness

The end or purpose of Christian liberty is not to smoke or drink; liberty is given for the pursuit of holiness. Those who wave the banner of Christian liberty so that they might do whatever they might want to do have not understood the doctrine at all. The point is not to drink or smoke or dance according to our own whims, in the light of our own wisdom, but do do whatever we do before the Lord, with the increase of joy and holiness obvious to all. Our guide on how this is to be done is the Bible, and not our pet evangelical traditions. And this is why the mature may drink wine to the glory of God, and the same cannot be applied to young men who may be more concerned about looking cool than being holy.

- Douglas Wilson, Future Men, 77.

How Are You Shepherding Your Kids?

Here are two very helpful, practical approaches to consider:

• Brian Croft – How Can I Make Sure I Am Individually Shepherding My Children?
• Tim Challies – On Being a Dad

Biblical Foundations for Marriage Class Audio

I’ve been teaching a Sunday evening class on the topic of marriage and family. Here are the links to the audio:

• Week 1 (2/7)
• Week 2 (2/14)
• Week 3 (2/21)
• Week 4 (2/28)

Sermon text for November 22nd – Ephesians 6:1-4

This Sunday we’ll be looking at the calling of parenthood:

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Click here for the sermon audio.

Sermon text for November 15th – Ephesians 5:22-33; 1 Peter 3:7

This Sunday we will look at the calling of men to be husbands:

Ephesians 5:22-33…22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. [1] 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body.31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

 

1 Peter 3:7…Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you [1] of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Sermon text for November 8th – 1 Peter 3:1-7

After a bit of a layoff, we’re going to return to our study of the Christian family this Sunday.

1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening.

7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you [1] of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.

Click here for the sermon audio.